hic-cups:

scarfshipping:

yours-truly-calliope:

This is a useful resource…

i’ll be the most creative murderer the world has ever seen

My dad is a chef so he legit has a toolbox with all of these in, like an actual toolbox it’s hilarious

your-black-friend:

killtheromance:

what the fuck did i just watch

I don’t know but it really speaks to me

vanillish:

Enough about yahoo lets talk about me

ship-all-the-gay:

so i was eating some of those sugary gross conversation hearts. (they were on for $1 at work) and I was reading them.

they say like ‘cool’ and ‘ur cute’ and then suddenly

I think the factory workers need help

bootipop:

Cheer up, you’re never alone! There is probably at least 1 bug in your room

tardisity:

The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.

tsunderrorist:

if you’re having a bad day here is a baby polar bear being tickled

yugoslavic:

i had no idea this site cost 1.1 billion i bet its because of my blog 

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

lexiegrey:

Goodbye, Sweetie.

bmoburns:

preteenager:

HOW DOES POPCORN EVEN DO THAT THING

HERE I SHOW YOU THE THING

gossipgandhi:

i came into this world covered in someone else’s blood and screaming and lemme tell you i’m not afraid to leave it the same way